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What was the question?

Oh riiiiight! Does the wave sink back into the ocean or does it stay a wave...something like that, if I recall correctly.

Zeynep, yes, it's that thing of specificity and infinity. I still get hung up on it.

Specific IS infinite and infinite IS specific. Not one or the other. Both. Not sometimes one and sometimes the other. Both. At the same time, always. Creation is the verb of the Creator. Expression is the voice of The Expressor. They are not two separate things. The Infinite expresses infinity through an infinite array of specific expressions, infinitely.

It's so easy, at least for me, to just keep thinking I'm separate, under the guise of unity. "Yes, it's all ocean, but when I die, my specific wave will be consumed back into the ocean." How could my specific wave be consumed back into the ocean? It's already ocean; that's what the wave is.

It's so easy to say that 1.) there's God and 2.) the expression of God...as if there are really two things going on. Looks like two, but it's really only one. It's not that God is over here and God's expression is over there. No line under the wave. The line is only imaginary. The wave IS the ENTIRE ocean! Man, that is just so huge when you actually get a sense of it. It's easy to agree with it, easy to academically understand it, but wow to experience it...

I don't know what happens when we die. I can't say for sure. I do know that we don't die, in terms of death being an extinguishment or snuffing-out of existence. If there is a feeling of being consumed back into the ocean, though, then it's got to simply be a mental feeling of sliding into the Oneness of things, of having the experience of really shedding the idea of separation....as opposed to actually losing your individuality.

But what if we do return to some sort of melting pot of light, for example, to further morph and pop up again somewhere as a wave in another specific ocean location? Isn't that the same thing as saying you don't really die? If it's all ocean, then why couldn't I dive under the ocean for a time...being carried along by a current, then pop up over in another part of the ocean for a bit, while still having a specific consciousness/vantage point through which to experience all of it? It might feel the same as being absorbed back into the ocean, though I wouldn't really be going "back" into anywhere or anything different than where I'd been the whole time.

It gets confusing for me, too, Zeynep. But what makes sense to me is that there is really only one individuality. There is really only a singular expression occuring, though it's infinitely expressed as what look like all these different things. One snow globe, one consciousness. It's such a huge, mind-blowing idea and I understand it clearly for a few minutes, then it gets blurry again and I go, "Huh??"

What I'm intuiting, Zeynep, when I'm feeling clear, is that IT is ME and ME is IT. IT is always ME and ME is always IT because there is no difference between the two. The apparent "two" are simply one and the same. It all depends on the identification of ME. Is ME, Carie, a redhead with green eyes, with this quirky personality I have, this certain voice? Or is that only the tip of the iceberg of ME? It all comes down to self-identification. Who am I, really? These features are how I look now, but they are actually changing every day. Every new now they are different. And I think what I look like will continue to morph, just like clouds in the sky. But who and what I really am, my true identity, is infinite and changeless, just like the sky....it's still there, no matter if the day looks cloudy or rainy or starry.

And yes, I am planning on being at Feathered Pipe. Are you going?

Sure, we're saying similar things. I like the dialog because it helps me get clear too. I'm not exactly sure I'm getting what you're saying in your last post, but I'll read it some more. I totally know what you mean, though - it's hard to put words on these things. But I really like the practice of doing it. It's another way to mediate for me, it's extremely helpful for me.

Come on to Montana! You might want to make sure there are openings and if not, go ahead and get yourself on the wait list. It fills up pretty fast.

love and peace